My body, my pleasure, my power!
by Tamara Pels-Idrobo Tapia, Programme Associate for Latin America and the Caribbean.
I can’t remember how old I was when I experienced an orgasm for the first time as a child… Do you?
Hang on, did I just write the word orgasm? Is the body of a girl capable of experiencing an orgasm? Well… yes it is! And if you talk honestly with lots of women they can corroborate that some of us have had the privilege to discover the power of our bodies at a very early age, And with one orgasm, comes another one, and with it, the great discovery of our bodies’ ability to give us the pleasure of multiple orgasms.
So, what is an orgasm? I am sure there are infinite ways to explain and describe what an orgasm is. To me, it’s the source of an intense feeling of power that comes with the vast pleasure I achieve with my body.
Sadly, open conversations around orgasm and what it means to our bodies and to our daily lives, remains as intimate and as personal as our bodies are. Or should I say, as personal and as intimate as we feel comfortable making them.
My body is my territory and my way to engage with the world. Thus, I constantly wonder why women don’t like to talk openly about all the pleasure our bodies can offer us on a daily basis. Some of those restrictions ironically come from perceptions around health and wellbeing that want to keep us women from eating that chocolate or candy we desperately want; from getting the hours of sleep that we want (or do not want). And on issues around our sexual pleasure, the repression is even stronger.
Just think about this: have you read, heard or watched any commercial that promotes the benefits to your health and wellbeing that an orgasm brings? I mean, at the same level as the overwhelming amount of commercials that promote food, drinks, vitamins and even holiday locations? And yet, you may agree that having orgasms on regular basis (the more, the better) contributes to living a healthy and a happy life.
As a feminist, I believe this lack of attention for girls’ and women’s orgasms, and especially to the capacity of women’s bodies to be multi orgasmic is harmful. By preventing women from accessing and experiencing the power of their bodies’, it supports submission, discrimination and violence against girls and women. However I believe that something else exists to repress our power, and that is guilt.
Guilt has been around as long as our societies have existed. Girls and women get to know it and use it all too early, and all too well. Guilt is what prevents girls and women from exploring their bodies, from getting to know them, and from experiencing pleasure from them. Guilt is effective tool indeed, because it serves the purpose of controlling women’s desires, bodies, sexuality, and reproductive choices. And who is free of guilt, raise their hand!
Speaking of hands, your hand, our hands… The hand has fingers. Do you know how important is the role that hands and fingers play when talking about the power of pleasure here?
Let’s agree here that it is time to use those powerful hands. Let’s start to reclaim the power of our bodies by freely experiencing the pleasures that we can obtain from them.
After all, it might be more simple that we want to admit, because it’s about owning and using the power of our bodies to experience powerful pleasure as often as we want!